good friday

 

to listen to one of the most emotional descriptions of the brutal death of Jesus Christ that i have ever heard, click here. 

its been quiet over here on this blog, and it will stay quiet until Sunday, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

 

365 photo // january

unlike most of you fancy bloggers, i do not have an iphone.
which is ok most of the time. 
except when i want to participate in fun things like the "photo of the day" craze on instagram. 

so, one day while i was pouting about my android, i came across a really helpful app called, 365 photos. and then all was well in my android world. it has been so helpful to take a photo each day and have it organized on my phone. this month i am using this as my guide and faking my way through #febphotoaday. 

// my sick, but still smiling girl on new years day// double ear infection// real marriage launch day//

//my very sick little lady// afternoon tea// 2 lattes to get me through the 6th sick day//

//feeling better// fun before sleeping// breakfast for dinner.

// trader joes stuffed chicken breasts// breakfast face// a cute hoodie from a clothing swap//

//sunset on a fri night// cookies for an afternoon treat// maggies first snowman//

//straight up chillin// good words// snow that wouldnt stop falling.//

//living room chalkboard// putting on makeup// first pigtails//

//after bath curls// a thrifted 'farmer gramps'// bath time//

// migrane// a walk at the park// DATE NIGHT// 

// baby evelyn// a fortune thats 'my dream'// 

// nutella, and coffee// reading the Bible//

i love doing this and i am excited to make a photo book with all my photos at the end of this year! 

also, i am so thankful for the response i have received regarding my last post. i love that i am not alone in this and i am praying that the Lord works in all of our hearts!

oh 2012.

oh 2012.
you started off just like 2011.
with a very sick baby. 

but before i get to that - we had the best time at our friends house to celebrate new years eve. there was lots of yummy food, good company and some really intense games of pictionary. i discovered that even though i am really terrible at pictionary, i really, really love it. like, its probably my favorite game - mostly because its filled with lots and lots of laughter.  we spent the night which was awesome, and by awesome i mean it would have been more awesome if our little girl was not the sickest she has ever been. 


i stayed awake with her all night long. 
okay, thats not totally true, but i really slept maybe 2 hours. & that sleep was so terrible that it would have probably felt more refreshing to stay awake. maggie screamed for at least 35 minutes non stop at 2 in the morning. honestly, at first i was so annoyed. 
i was so frustrated that she was screaming.
i was so concerned that she would wake up our sweet friends.
or their 3 month old in the next room. {this mama knows how frustrating it is when your 3 month old gets woke up in the middle of the night...} 
and then i just told my selfish little self to simply, "shut up."


what was i thinking?
my daughter was restless, and sick.
and i was thinking about myself & my own feelings.
& it hit me. 
i am so selfish sometimes.
& mamahood is a selfless job.
and i need to grow up and take care of my little one.

so i stopped right there and prayed. 
i prayed that the LORD would calm my sweet one's cough.
i prayed that the LORD would take away my frustration and replace it with compassion and love.
i prayed that the LORD would break my little girls fever.
i prayed that our friends and their little ones would not hear her screaming.
and i prayed that i would stop being angry at my husband who was sleeping. 


and friends, Jesus answered those prayers. 
not all of them.
but the bulk of them he answered.
my heart was so full of care and compassion for maggie in an instant. i wanted nothing more that to make her feel better. i wanted nothing more than to stop her pain. as i held her little body overcome by a fever i just wanted to take away all the icky that she felt. i wanted to just hold her and i didnt even care if i slept or not, all i cared about was getting her to feel better.
it was a moment i have been waiting for as a mama. that moment of feeling like you dont matter, but your child does. that moment where they 100% come before you and your needs - and not out of necessity but out of your hearts desire. and i praised him. i praised him all night long. i praised him when she would sleep for 15 straight minutes without waking to cough, & then i prayed for 15 more. i praised him when he broke that fever and she was finally able to rest a bit. i praised him when i just 100% stopped being angry at my husband because i was not getting what i wanted. and this morning, i heard from our friends that they didnt hear her screaming at all. which is a miracle from God because i know that they should have heard her. 


something that i struggle with a lot is feeling like Jesus hears me when i pray. i really want to learn and understand more about prayer this year, and i think that it started off just right. i sought for the king, and he answered me. and it was the most beautiful start to this year. 

and i caught a quick smile from her earlier today. thank you Jesus for such a sweet, sweet girl. 

happy new years friends. 
i am off to snuggle with my husband. 

a walk through 2011

Hello sweet readers.
i am surprised that there are any of you left.
thank you for hanging in there with me. 

i have just been in a place of 'blah' lately. 
not sure what to write about, not having the time to write, the list could go on. i feel like i have yet to find my voice in blogging. does that make sense? do you ever feel that way? 


anyways, i wanted to do a little recap of what i blogged about this year. i love the new year. NYE is easily one of my top 3 holidays. { i like the firework holidays - NYE, 4th of july, & valentines day...} i really like starting fresh, and using it at a time to get organized and make goals. i dont really make resolutions, because i am no good at keeping them. (although i did a pretty okay job on my list from last year.)but i do like making goals. this year i am working on a 25 by 25 list {which i'll be sharing sometime next week} instead of a 'new years list'. having a list keeps me accountable. 


i have so much that i want to blog about - so much life to catch up on. i have countless photo's from maggie's first birthday {as well as a letter to her i want to share}, our 80's dance party to celebrate our birthdays, i have a post i want to write about Christmas & an 13 month post about our little girl {who is nearing 14 months now...} i have lots to catch up on & i am hoping that i can do that in the next few weeks. will you stay with me?


to be honest, 2011 has been the hardest year i have had. there has been so many hardships that we have walked through and i am really looking forward to a new start. i am really looking forward to all the things that Jesus has planned for this family in 2012. here is a quick look back at our year.


in january i really started getting serious about blogging as a hobby. i started to enjoy it a lot more and felt like it was a great creative outlet. i also learned some really beautiful lessons in being a mama that i am so thankful for. i joined the link up and devoted myself to 31 days of blogging, called 'project 31' - 31 days of blogging about what real beauty is. it really helped me to blog more regularly and to really reach some deeper parts of my heart and helped me to gain perspective on who i am.


febuary is one of my favorite months. this febuary was hard. it was not sweet and fancy like i envisioned. i did write a little bit about my favorite holiday, but what i mostly wrote about was my struggles with a screaming baby and a low milk supply - and i wrote a sweet letter to my friend and a letter to my sweet girl.


in march we discovered what was making our lady scream so much, i shared a recipe for our favorite soup, a sweet post about being married for 2 years, about my first day back at work. and i shared some really special photos of 4 generations. 

april was a busy month. i wrote about going through a storm, about how my sweet husband got a new job, and about wanting to start some family traditions. i also shared a bit of our Easter with you as well as my pretty new blog design & celebrated the new blog design with my very first giveaway.

may was one of my favorite months. i blogged about the royal marriage, my husband surprised me and posted a sweet blog for me on mothers day, i was able to quit my job at starbucks, maggie pearl turned six months old and became a fighter, i wrote about my fears of going on a womens retreat, and what i learned on that retreat.  


in june this little blog was added to faithblogs, i did a recap on our wonderful weekend trip to portland, i told you all how perfect i am, about trials, and about becoming planted.

july i wrote about getting to watch my one of my bff's give birth & how that changed my view of mamahood. 
i started the story of how i met my husband, and celebrated knowing him for 3 whole years. july was also the month we stopped sleeping.


maggie saw her reflection for the first time in august. i got real and talked about what had really been going on with me all year - postpartum depression. i shared more about who i am, and about one of my worst days as a mama. 


i camped out in proverbs 31 for a while in september. and i posted a recipe that we love, and some that maggie loves, as well as watched my baby girl turn 10 months old. 


in october i posted a video of our little lemonhead. i heard from the LORD about resting, and we took our eleven month old to the farm.


i posted all about pumpkins & halloween costumes in november. we celebrated our 3 year anniversary of our engagement, took a walk down memory lane, talked about being thankful, had a wake up call and celebrated our daughter turning ONE. 


decemeber is the month that i neglected this blog. i wrote about celebrating my sweet wonderful husband man, a post about our church and why i love it, and about my new love of glitter. 


as i mentioned, this year was full of hard times, growth, redemption and a whole lot of blessings. thanks for coming along on this crazy ride with me. 


reflecting back on this makes me praise Jesus, because i can see so much fruit and growth from earlier this year to where my heart is now. He is so good. 


happy new year, friends!