a slimy green rock.

i am pretty sure that there were a few of you praying for me over the weekend, because i felt it. oh sure, i was worried about a million things & my heart was heavy with the burden that is my body & my identity this weekend, but i was able to push the thoughts away & give them to the LORD each time. {which is a huge step..} 


i think i posted before that the theme for the retreat this weekend was biblical womanhood. to be perfectly honest, i was more affected by a completely different conversation than what our wonderful speaker {& pastors wife} taught on. i think that once i re read all that she taught on it will spark some wonderful things in my heart, but i really think that the reason that the LORD had me go to the retreat was to learn about a slimy green rock. 


during our second teaching session we learned about being a grace filled helpmate. it was an amazing time of reflecting on marriage & what it means to be a helpmate. after the session was over we were asked to split into groups & discuss what we learned. there were a few questions to answer & somehow we got a little off track. i honestly can not remember how we got to this place, but a wonderful older lady spoke some of the most incredible truth. so, i have struggled a lot in my life feeling like i have value. value to this world, value to my family, value to my friends, value to my husband, value to Jesus & the list goes on. i struggle deeply with the thought that i am not worth a single thing. oh, i know that Christ died for me, & that should mean that i am worth at least something, but for some reason i have yet to really, deeply feel that in my heart. so, this lovely women said something & it gave me a word picture that i will never forget. she started talking about how we are of great value to the LORD. she said to imagine our child. to imagine our sweet child going outside & picking up a slimy green nasty rock & bringing that rock to you as a gift - a treasure. she asked what we would do with that disgusting rock - she said that as a mother we would be overjoyed by the sweet gift that our child brought us. we would take that gross gift & treat it like it was an absolute thing to be cherished. we would put it on the window sill for all to look at, we would place such value on the rock. not because it is awesome, or beautiful, but because it was a gift from our child & we would love it no matter how slimy it was. then she said, "ladies, that is how the LORD sees you." & my heart froze. it hit me. finally. she went on to tell us that the LORD sees us as a slimy green rock that was brought to him through his son, he cherishes us because he loves us, not because of our physical beauty of lack of - but because even though we are slimy & nasty he sees us as something to be valued, loved, & treasured. i have been thinking & meditating on that for the past few days. seeing myself sitting on God's window sill & that he loves me even though i have a muffin top, even though i still look 4 months pregnant, even though i have a temper, even though i have bitterness in my heart, even though i dont always submit or respect my husband like i should, even though i am not disciplined enough in his word, he sees beyond the slimy green stuff on my body & in my heart to the true beauty that is deeper than i even know or understand. i feel so blessed to have learned that this weekend. i feel so blessed to have been in a group with this amazing lady. 


what is a truth that you have been learning lately?