a fighter.

i never imagined that the sweet little bundle that was growing in my belly would be anything but a tiny, gentle, easy going, little lady. in fact, i always envisioned us snuggling until nap time where she would peacefully {& voluntarily} fall asleep. maybe a little bit of rocking { for mama's sake} but just a peaceful sleeper. i envisioned working around the house while my lady baby play on her quilt with her toys. i envisioned soft, gentle baby snuggles. & the LORD gave me those things - some of the time. but most of the time i have a fighter.  maggie fights sleep like there is no tomorrow. she uses all of her strength to keep her eyes open & to stay awake. she will not sleep during the day unless i hold her & even then, one wrong move & she is awake. if she doesnt sleep, my girl is a hot mess. she constantly whines while laughing because she is so sleepy that she doesnt know what to do. she loves to play, but only if you are right there playing with her {or within eyesight}. she is not gentle with her hands. in fact she hurts me every single day when she 'touches' my face. i think i have to remind her to be gentle every time { & i know she is only 6 months old, but i figure i might as well start now with the loving reminders...} this girl will get angry. flat out mad at you if she doesnt get what she wants, if you dont pick her up right that second or get that bottle to her mouth fast enough. its amazing to see her sin nature come out at such a young, tiny age.  i am constantly reminded of our sin & of the fact that i go kicking & screaming when Jesus asks me to do the simplest things at times. its a really real reminder. i think about my sweet girl as a fighter. oh, my baby girl is as sweet as the day is long, but she is also so feisty. so full of spunk. & it got me thinking this afternoon. i spent almost 4 hours getting her to sleep today. sure, she would fall asleep & then wake up as soon as her bottle was empty. she would lay quietly with her head on my shoulder & as soon as i stopped swaying, she would look at me & giggle. it took a good 4 hours of whining {from mama & baby} & then by the grace of God, she fell asleep. she has now been sleeping since about 11 am & i am so thankful, because she was a grouch! after doing a load of laundry, working on party plans, dreaming about cupcakes, finishing my 3 & starting my 4 cup of decaf, making baby food, i got quiet. my heart became still & i asked Jesus to show me what to write about. he brought up in my heart all the fighting that my little girl does. & he revealed to me that instead of seeing her fighter nature as a negative, to see it as an opportunity to pray for my pearl. to pray for her to be a fighter against good things, to rejoice that she will learn to fight for what is right. 

Father:

i am thankful beyond all measure that you blessed me with a beautiful little girl. you heard the cry of my heart & you granted it to me. i will never know why. & i will forever be thankful. Lord, you made margaret the exact why that you wanted & for that i am thankful. Oh,Jesus she is a fighter & it terrify s me to no end. i dont want to fight with my daughter over every single thing {as i did with my sweet mama}. Lord, please let maggie be a fighter for you. let her fight to show your glory. let her fight to stay pure for her husband. let her fight for those who are teased & bullied, let her fight the fleshly desires of her heart. let her fight against Satan, his demons & their works. let her fight for what is good & what your word says to be true. let her fight for life & stand up to those who think it is ok to abort it. let her fight for those less fortunate than she is. let her use this desire in her heart to fight for good & not for evil. let her fight to know true beauty. 

Lord, please use this trait in my daughter for your glory. please teach me to pray for her & pray that she fights against things that are bad & not things that are of you. please teach nick & i to show her the right way to fight & not to fight out of anger. i am so thankful that you gave us this little gem, even if i have to bounce, sway & rock her to sleep, every. single.time. 

amen.