how i met my husband. part three.

hey remember when i started this back in JULY?! well, i figure since tomorrow is our three year wedding anniversary i should probably find the time to finish this sweet story! 

if you are tuning in for the first time {which you probably are since its been ages since i last wrote about this.} you can catch up on part one and part two. 

so, last time we talked about this, i left off with him making me a picture of my dream field. that sunday, he invited me to church to watch his band play, and we spent a good chunk of the day together hanging out with his friends and me awkwardly feeling like uncomfortable around all these people who actually knew nick. before i left that day he asked me to plan our next date. & i said yes. i was scared out of my mind. 

i asked practially all of my co workers for ideas, and one of them suggested that i take nick to the art muesum. brillant! at least i thought it would be. i was terribly wrong. we got there, and almost everything in the entire place was under construction. literally, we could barely go anywhere and everything that we could look at was ugly. 

case and point. this was some crazy thing made with wadded up paper mache.

 we left that place and i thought i had ruined EVERYTHING. i picked a really lame place and had no back up plan. lucky for me there is a park near that museum so we took a walk and sat on a bench, and talked. a lot. about everything. we call this date our 'falling in love' date because thats what we did on that bench. he told me all about his life, and i told him all about mine. we layed it all on the table because neither of us wanted to date just to date. we both had been hurt, and we wanted to only continue a relationship if we thought it might get more serious. it was the best afternoon turned evening of my life. 

we walked to a Chinese restaurant {which is now an adorable cupcake place} and ate and fell more in love. 

dinner and a flower

 we spent the next 3 months getting to know each other, and falling in love. by novemeber he had decided to ask me to be his wife and the rest is history. :) 


i'm so thankful that Jesus has given me this gift of a wonderful husband, and i am looking forward to celebrating 3 years of marriage with him tomorrow!

 

thanks husband!

i have been wanting a new blog design, or at the least, a new header for months. unfortunately i have not had any extra money to use for it, but i mentioned it to my husband and he was sweet enough to make me this beautiful new header on his day off! {due to lots of snow and ice} i love it, and i love that he designed it all for me! 

thanks nicky, for making my space to write a little more beautiful. 

the eighth of novemeber

three years ago a sweet shaggy haired, bearded man picked me up.
he brought flowers.
he took me out to breakfast.
he bought me coffee.
he took me shopping.
he bought me a dress.
he took me hiking.
he asked me a question.
he gave me a ring.
and i said,"yes."
he prayed with me.
he called me his fiance.
he took me out to dinner.
he took me home.
he updated his facebook status.
he changed my life.


i love the 8 of novemeber.
and i love that man.

11.08.08

and every year on this day (or a few days before)
to celebrate he takes me on a date and buys me a new dress.
i love this little tradition.
not just because i get a new dress,
but because it is something that my sweet husband decided to do.

i love this man & i feel so blessed to be his wife.

what i am learning from proverbs 31

i just havent really felt like blogging this past week. a lot of stuff has been going on that doesnt need to be shared with the internet, & if i would have blogged, it all would have come out. like word vomit. & thats not pretty, or {most importantly} glorifying to the LORD. so, as much as i missed my little corner of the web, i think it is safe to say, its been better for me to be quiet over here. 
with that being said, i feel like i can come back, & write about other things & that makes me happy!

so, one of the things i was struggling with particularly last week was having a list of questions for Jesus and then for my husband. 


while we were dating i had this HUGE desire to be a proverbs 31 woman. there is nothing wrong with that desire, but i thought that the moment that i said, "i do" i would transform into that amazing, incredible,excellent woman. oh, how wrong i was. before i was a wife, i didnt really do any of those things well. i didnt like to get up early to take care of anyone, i didnt budget well, i had no interest in cooking for anyone. ever. i was filled with fear and anxiety and looked at the days to come with enough of those things to kill someone. i thought i was wise and kind, but realized very quickly that those things were not true. & i spoke often about how i would never in a million years disrespect my husband, or bring him anything but encouragement and praise. 


after returning from our honeymoon at one of the happiest places on earth, {disneyworld!} i thought, "well, here we go... we are just so happy and i am going to perform this role as wife so well. its going to be so easy, because i am going to just wake up and be that woman from proverbs." but there was laundry, and conflicting schedules, and someone had to cook dinner and wash those dishes that sat in my sink. i grew angry and bitter about that woman in proverbs. i think i sometimes hated her. it felt like this huge burden looming over me. i was feeling so guilty and feeling like my husband probably thought that he was getting the short end of the stick. i know he wondered what happened to the little lady who said she desired to be this excellent wife and woman? where had she gone? because i had become {still am} a wife full of anger, disappointment, regret, and often times, disrespect. 

why am i telling you all of this? well mostly because i have said it a million times, i want to be authentic on this blog. i dont want you to think for a millisecond that i have it all together. because that would be so dishonest of me. i want to share how i am learning and growing so i can look back and see the grace and i can get encouragement from others who have walked this before me, or so that maybe the LORD can use all the dirt that i am covered in to bring to light his amazing glory. 

Source: thealternativebride.blogspot.com via Megan on Pinterest

so, i sat down with nick and asked him if i was bringing rottenness to his bones. {i didnt really use those words, but basically...} his answer was so loving { & such a gift from the LORD} he had told me that he was just reading this article and felt led to share it with me before i even talked to him about all of this. the lady who wrote this is wonderful. she spoke at our womens retreat 2 years ago as well as did some of the teaching in our premarital classes. i read this sweet article and allowed the guilt and condemnation that i feel about not being a proverbs 31 woman/wife to just fall off of my shoulders.

i love how she says that an excellent wife is not found, but forged. 

 An excellent wife is not found but forged. No man goes out and finds a woman who is pure wife perfection and marries her. Neither of them truly know what that even looks like yet! 

i had no idea what being an excellent wife looked like, i just had in my mind this huge list of things i needed to accomplish to get there. i love that she says that because i know that for me, that little quote brings such freedom! to know that i am not trash, that i have value as a wife and a woman in the LORD, as long as i allow him to teach me and forge me into the excellent wife that he desires and created me to be. 

Excellence is not measured by a to-do list; 

it is manifested in the life of a wife who knows 

Jesus intimately.

and this is where it gets so raw for me. because i struggle with knowing Jesus intimately. the truth is, i know Jesus, but i dont know him in a deep intimate way. this has been very convicting to me. i desire to know Jesus more deeply, but i am always so focused on being the best wife and the best mama and the best daughter and the best friend that i dont have time 'time' to work on my relationship with the LORD. ugh. that kills me to type. its so amazing that the answer to those questions of , " how do i become a more excellent__________" lies in the simple truth of,  

know Jesus more intimately.

and that is my goal, my desire and my prayer. i would love encouragement, accountability and grace as i learn to know my savior in a much deeper way & in turn become more like the woman that he created me to be. please, read this article, i know you will be blessed by these beautiful, guilt free words. 

 

how i met my husband - part two.

i am so excited to share with you the rest of our story this week! 
if you are just tuning in, here is part one .

so, i think that we left off with him friend requesting me on facebook... so, we talked for a few weeks on & off & one day he asked me what my favorite place was. i told him about this field that i had imagined. it was {still would be..} my dream place. we talked about it in detail & then a little later he asked me if i wanted to finish our conversation in person. i was so nervous, but said yes as quickly as i could type it. he started texting me every single morning & i had no idea what to think. on july 30, 2008 we met for lunch at a Mongolian grill. i almost threw up i was so nervous. { & i do not throw up, except for 3 days before our wedding, but thats another story..} we spent over an hour talking & eating. it was the easiest conversation that i ever had. we were getting along so great. i was so surprised to find out how much he loved Jesus - it made my heart feel so full and glad. he asked if we could keep hanging out, so we went to starbucks for another hour. it was like we had been friends for so long. 

i knew on that day, that i was going to marry him. or if not him, someone who was exactly like him. 

after we said our goodbyes, i went home to pick up my little brother & we headed out to the mall. i was on cloud nine the entire time. i couldnt get this amazing man out of my head. 
my friend {the same lady who introduced us..} called me & told me to get on facebook as soon as possible. when i did this is what i saw:

 it had the caption, "field of {your} dreams".

i. almost. died. 

it was exactly like i had described it. this man had listened to every last detail of my dream place. it was something i had never imagined would happen. 

we were in nonstop contact ever since that day. 
and i had enough wisdom, to let him do all the pursuing. 
which made falling in love so much sweeter. 

and you will hear more about it next week- i promise, this will only be a 3 part story! 

 

how i met my husband - part one.

three years ago today, i met the man who would become my husband.
the story starts a little before we first met. 

this is the first photo that i ever took of nick.

it was late june of 2008 & i had just been heartbroken over the ending of a deeply emotional relationship earlier that year. one of my sweet friends & her husband deeply cared about me & knew my desire to be married & wanted that for me as well. i was young, but felt very strongly a desire to be married. she soon started to tell me about this guy that was in their worship band. i was so not interested. like, really, really not interested. i later found out that they had been talking to him about me as well & he was not that keen on being set up either. i had plans, plans to apply to bible school, plans to travel, plans to do whatever the LORD wanted me to do. my list of things to accomplish was very long. 
she persisted and talked to me about how much he loved Jesus, how funny he was & how we would be perfect for each other. so one day i gave in. i remember sitting in a comfy chair at starbucks, just about to start my shift & we were talking & for some reason i let her send this man i had never met a photo of me. & he sent one back. suddenly everything felt awkward & i felt like a silly girl. i thought for sure that he would never be interested in me, because i was younger than he, & so unsure of who i was becoming. in true 'just out of highschool' fashion, i scoured her facebook for him. i had to know more about this guy who had a photograph of me. {something i learned later was after he received my photo, he asked my sweet friend if she would also be planning our wedding. as a joke. ha!} 

this is the photo i found of him on facebook, that i literally stared at for days while trying to figure out what i thought about the whole situation. 

 

my friends birthday was that weekend & she was throwing a backyard bbq party to celebrate. i was so excited to get to go & so excited to spend time with her & some of our other friends. i never even thought about if he would be there or not. the idea of him even being interested in me seemed so silly, so i didnt even worry about it. the day of her party i woke up late & dashed out the door for church. i didnt even brush my hair. i just wanted to get to church.

 

i remember looking exactly like this. same dress, same hair, no makeup. i showed up to the party & felt right away that something was going to happen. pretty soon, this tall man, with a handsome beard walked in. my heart sank. i was so nervous. at that moment, i really wanted him to like me. i tried to be cool. i tried to be calm, but i get really nervous around new people. i'll never forget the way that my friend introduced us to each other for the first time. she said, " nicholas, this is alexandria" & we shook hands & sat across the deck from each other. i told you that i get silly and nervous around new people, & it was no different this time. i started babbling about the coin collection that i had in my purse. i had a penny from 1880, & some 50 cent pieces & a few 2 dollar bills. i passed them around to anyone who wanted to see them & nick was one of them. it was so silly. typing that makes me sound like such a dork! i ended up not saying anything else to him after that & left the party early. not even an hour after the party was over he had friend requested me on facebook, & then the romance started... but i will save that for another post. 

come back for ' how i fell in love with my husband- part 2' next wednesday. i promise it is a really great love story. ;) 

happy 3 years of knowing each other, sweet wonderful husband man. i'll love you as long as i am alive. 

 

the moment he became daddy.

 i remember the first moment i saw my sweet husband become a daddy.

it was not the day we saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test.

it was not the day that we found out that we were having a little lady.

it was not the day that i fell flat on my tummy & had to go to the emergency room.

it was not any day in between those either.

certainly he was an amazing father to be.

he was loving & caring & a little bit excited.

but {as i am sure i have said before}

my sweet husband does not really get all that excited until the real thing happens.

i had no doubts in my mind that nick would make an incredible father. if i did, i would not have become his bride.

nick had zero experience on what it meant to be a daddy.

he was not used to being around little ones.

the idea of becoming a daddy was pretty new to him, before he met Jesus he didnt think about having kids. ever. 

so, here i was just about 41 weeks pregnant. & tossing & turning in my bed. when suddenly the unveiling of what type of a daddy nick would be started to happen. he walked through 20+ hours of labor with me & each minute that ticked by another glorious piece of 'daddy' was revealed. 

do you remember the moment your husband became a daddy?

because i do. 

when i think about it, i want to sit down & have a good ugly cry.

because that moment, the moment i saw him change from a  'soon to be daddy' to a real life 'daddy' was one of those fall in love all over again moments. 

it was this moment that changed everything. 

  i will never forget looking into his eyes & seeing him cry at the sight of his baby girl.

i will never forget how that sent me over the edge & that was the only time in 20+ hours i let tears fall out of my eyes.

to know nick before margaret was born, is amazing, because you get to see the transformation so beautifully. nick is by far the most amazing, incredible, loving daddy that i could have ever imagined. he is a complete natural, & our lady baby loves him so intensly that i think she might explode at the sight of him, & honestly i think he might explode at the sight of her. these 2 love eachother with all that they can & its amazing to see. 

i am so thankful for so many things about nick.

thankful that:

- he woke up every 2 hours {or so} for 3 months while i nursed out daughter. 

- not only would he wake up, but he would pray with me & rub my back. 

- he understands that somedays all i do is sit in the same chair all day & hold our baby girl. {& he never complains about a messy house.}

- he takes maggie when i need to just relax & gets her calm & laughing again in no time.

- he puts her to sleep almost every single night. {thanks babe!}

the LORD has done something amazing in my husband, & i could not be more thankful, more blessed, or more excited about what he has done. 

nick,

hi. i know today did not go as planned.

like really not as planned.

i am sorry.

but thanks for loving it anyways.

for loving us, & taking such amazing care of your ladies.

we love you.

a latte.

{i promise that next date night we will go to Chinese or Thai or maybe even pho. just kidding. maybe.}

a royal marriage

i dont know about you, but i have always found royalty so intriguing. as a little girl i would lay in my mamas bed & ask her silly questions like, "what if we really are royalty & we just dont know it?!" or " lets pretend that i am a princess & you are the queen & daddy is the king." i would seriously fall asleep dreaming of a palace & a pretty sparkling crown. i wanted to be 'princess alexandria' so very badly. i also do not think that i have ever grown out of that. i think my heart really truly desires to be a princess & have a prince & a pretty crown & wear a lovely dress. i desire to be saved & protected. i think that it is one of the reasons why the wedding of will & kate is such a huge deal to us {at least to me!} to see a commoner become a royal - - is that not what almost all little girls dream of?! a prince coming  & sweeping you off your feet & making you his princess? now, i was going to watch said wedding yesterday, but couldnt find the time {i can assure you i'll be watching sometime this week!} but what i did find the time for was reading this little link {sent to me by my own sweet prince}. i found it to be very insightful. as i was reading it i thought it would be about marriage between a man & his wife,  &  it is, but what i got out of it was something totally different. remember what i just said about that deep longing to be a royal & wear a lovely dress & glittering crown? well, the LORD basically blew me up when i was reading because here i was thinking so materialistically & not having an eternal perspective. friends, we do get to be a royal.{1 peter 2:9} we will be wearing a glittering crown! we are children of the KING! i love that the LORD has placed that desire in my heart & the hearts of many other women. i love that he is created us all to have a deep longing to be rescued by a prince {Jesus}. oh it just makes me want to squeal that someday my dreams of waltzing around a palace will come true & that i get to do that while worshiping my savior & king!! doesnt that just make you giddy for heaven? 

so, like i said God totally blew me away with that sweet revelation while reading this morning, but he didnt stop there. nope. i kept reading & after just being smitten with the ways that Jesus pursues me, i started to focus more on the marriage of husband & wife and not Christ & the Church. 
who doesnt love a good wedding? you can sit & see the love that the man has for his {almost} wife & you can see the respect radiating from that woman to her {almost} husband. it brings people to tears because it is so beautiful. but what happens after that lovely ceremony? does that love & respect just keep going strong & never skipping a beat? i know in my marriage it didnt. {oh dear, thats another post all in itself. i believed so many lies about marriage!} i know that quickly we began this crazy cycle of my sweet man not loving me the way i expected him to & that i was not giving him the respect that he needed. this way of life just kept on going until we dug a little {okay, a lot} deeper & realized that with unconditional respect nick was able to love me like i needed & being loved that way i was able to give him the respect he needed. its a crazy balance that we are in no way amazing at but constantly working towards. its in those moments that we can really see & use the gospel in our marriage. 
with all the hype around will & kate's big day, what i think that people{including me} are missing is that the wedding day is just the first day in the marriage, that we should be praying for them to know Jesus & to be able to apply the gospel to their marriage because without knowing & understanding what true royalty is & who the real king is marriage is hard. {it's hard even knowing & understanding that!} instead of oohing & ahhing over princess catherines wedding dress, we should pray for her heart & her salvation & pray for their marriage. that they can know Jesus & know how to love & respect one another, the way that speaks to the most intimate parts of their hearts. 


i have so much more to say on this topic, but i dont want this post to get out of control long. so be on the lookout for more of my thoughts on marriage. until then, don't forget about my sweet giveaway! today is the last day to enter & i will be randomly selecting & announcing the winner tomorrow!! 


happy sunday! 

so many blessings!

oh. my. friends. my heart is so full right now! i have a lot of things to say, so please just bear with me.

to start out; the death cold has hit the macewen household {again}. this week was TERRIBLE over here. i mean, we went through more tissues that i thought possible, 2 boxes of cold meds, countless boogie wipes {if you dont know what those are, google them. amazing!} i have not been this sick in a looong time, and it was miserable. i had to call in sick from work {which i never do} 2 days this week. on tuesday i had a fever and a sore throat, on wednesday i had a light fever and sore throat and a deep voice, on thursday i had no voice at all and it felt like i was swallowing fire. then, while trying to go to sleep last night i had so much sinus pressure that my jaw and my ear were throbbing in pain. its gross. all the while miss maggie has snot coming out of everywhere and a cough that scares this mama. {not to mention a low grade fever pretty much all week.} so, there is very little sleep going  on over here, which makes it so much more exciting. :) the good news is that i think we are on the mend. i am feeling a lot better today {although not 100%} and mags shows signs of that too. thank you Jesus! {especially since i work tomorrow at 4am!}

another huge blessing is that my sweet babe loves being in the bath! it was 2 days shy of her 5 month birthday and she loves being in the water! like she seriously would scream like no other when we put her in the water. {or near water for that matter} and now the girl loves it. like she can not get enough. the girl splashes and loves to kick around. its a huge accomplishment for our little lady, and a giant blessing to this mama and daddy! so this morning we took a long bath together. its so wonderful because i dreamed of splashing and playing in the bath together with her and i honestly never thought that it was possible. but today, my silly little dream came true. and it was bliss for this tired, sick, overwhelmed mama.  
{maggie also started to sit up on her own this week... but more about that later!} 

and the biggest, most wonderful blessing of all is:: 

he got the job! 

thank you for all your prayers! it is such a huge blessing to our little family! nick called me this morning to let me know that they picked him to be promoted to assistant store manager! i can not believe it! this has been a long journey of just trusting Jesus with my sweet husbands job, and a year ago we had NO idea that this could or would be a possibility! this is HUGE friends! {& more to come on why it is so huge for our family soon!} today is such a great day & gift from the LORD. i am excited to go out and celebrate this awesome news with my sweet family and my sweet husband. i am so thankful and super excited about this next chapter of our lives! {nick, if you are reading; i love you and am so thankful for how you have & will continue to provide for our family! }  we are still giggly over here with excitement!

today will be a 2 post day, i'll be back with some sweet pictures of little pearl, and for mama in focus friday! {& some more fun news! stay tuned!} 

xo,

a

first day back.

so today was my first day back at work. it was so weird showing up and putting on the silly green apron. i don't know if this is terrible to say, but i really didn't miss being there. i did not have a terrible day, in fact it was really good for not working in about 5 months, but i didn't really want to be there. my heart is not there, my heart is at home. poor baby maggie had a rough day. she stayed with my sweet, sweet friend; her auntie kara, but the poor little bird cried pretty much the whole time, and was super uncomfy and gassy. :( i am hoping that next week is better. although i am super blessed to only be working wed- fri.. and super blessed to have amazing friends (and my mama!)watch her. its so comforting to know she is being loved while i am making lattes.

on another note, our anniversary was so sweet! nick planned the whole day and it was lovely. baby maggie girl was picked up by my little brother (who has an cool design blog, read it here!) and then my sweet husband took me to the original pancake house (which is not the same as IHOP. in case you were wondering.) he knows that i adore pancakes, and this place had tons of different kinds. {side note :: a sweet lady in our community group told me about a pancake place in portland that sounds amazing and i now have another reason to dream of portland. thanks liz! :)} i had banana pancakes and they were amazing! after that we went to starbucks because coffee dates really speak to my heart and my husband knows this very well. we sat and laughed and chatted. it was so good. he is so cute. he then drove us to pike place market and bought me some beautiful flowers, and we went on an adventure to find the 'gum wall'. it was really neat, and disgusting all at the same time. nick and i give each other creative traditional anniversary gifts. last year was paper and he gave me a magazine subscription and i gave him a book (which i still need to order... 367 days later...) this year the gift was cotton. i bought nick a bag to carry all his things to work in, and he bought me these: 

 

now i am just awaiting their arrival! (had to be sent to me because nordstroms was out of my color and size!) after all that, we went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. it was a really sweet day! i am posting a ton of photos that we took on our phones. 

yummy banana pancakes!

cute husband.

americanos and laughing. so good for my soul.

reason #20,000 why i love this man.

bubblegum wall

this part was my favorite- -  see the mustache!

my beautiful flowers

amazing dinner at Maggianos

my phone updating and telling me that we were celebrating our anniversary. to be honest, i was just giddy that my phone randomly had a heart notification.

pike place. i am the one in the black. :)

 well, tomorrow is another work day. 

if i can do 1 i can do 2 right? 

i am so thankful for all the prayers that people were sending up for me today. i felt them all. i felt so encouraged by all my sweet friends and family that this day was so much better than i thought. 

xo,

a

2 years of love.

today i am celebrating a lot of things. the first (and most important thing) is that 2 years ago today i married my sweet husband. that day was so wonderful. it feels like it was a million years ago, because so much happened on that day and it happened so fast & in a hurry that it is hard to remember all the details. i do remember getting ready to walk down the isle and my dad asked me if i was nervous. i told him no. that i was really excited. i was so ready to marry nick. so excited about our life together. now, 2 years later i am up at 6 in the morning, snuggling our sweet daughter. (who slept like 13 hours straight last night?!what?!)i am not sure that if you told that sweet little bride 2 years ago what life would be like, what marriage would really be like, that i would have really believed you. i thought that marriage was just like a fairytale. i never expected out marriage to have anything hard in it. i was so young. the past 2 years have been the hardest years. they have been filled with ups and downs, trials, sickness, hard times, tears, laughter, giggles, victories, praises, & growing in Jesus. i could not imagine my life without my sweet husband, and i am so thankful for his grace, support, love, honesty, and sense of humor. i have been so taken care of, and so loved. i am sure blessed. here are a few photos of our special day...

happy anniversary, nick! i love you deeper than i did on the day i became your wife. i am so thankful for you. you are an amazing husband, and a wonderful daddy. i am so excited to spend the day celebrating us and this marriage that by the grace of God is 2 years old, and i pray to see it grown and become 100. (or at least 75.) i love you!

xo,

a

-------------------------------------------

another thing i am celebrating - - maggie girl slept from about 4 yesterday afternoon, until 5 this morning. she woke up once to eat. and now, she is sleeing again. this is the 2 night in a row that she has slept straight until 5am. i really hope we are on to something here! 

xo::

a

my husband...

today was a 'snow day'. we got a few inches of snow last night, and my sweet husband had today off anyways, so we spent it bundled indoors, getting some housework done, playing with baby bird, making dinner for some sweet friends and enjoying time as family.

lady baby is still sick, and we are all hoping that this cold leaves her as quickly as it came. sucking out a baby nose 3 times a day is not my (or hers for that matter) favorite thing to do. 

i am hoping to post a really yummy recipe tomorrow, (the one i talked about here) and also an update on all the fun crafty things i have been making and dreaming of making lately. 

day twenty one

Day 21.  Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)

my dear sweet husband::

who would have thought that just 2 and a half years after meeting we would be sitting in an apartment, together, laughing about how sweet our baby girl is?! i am so much more in love with you than i was before. watching you become a daddy is probably the most beautiful thing i have seen. you were made to be a daddy and i love seeing you grow each day. the way that you care about me is so selfless and so loving. i appreciate how hard you are working for our little family. i am so thankful that you wake up each morning after not sleeping enough and go to work. it truly helps me see that when i have to go back, i will be able to work on little sleep. thank you for always leading me to the LORD, and praying for us daily.i love watching you serve the LORD at church and in community. your willingness to do what he has called us to do is something i cherish about you. i am so thankful that in a few short weeks we get to celebrate the 2 years of marriage Jesus has blessed us with. i love you nicky. a latte. :)

xoxo::

your girly grr 

 

two letters about love.

** disclaimer:: this might get mushy. but i already warned you before that i love love**

day five.

Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive. 

 my sweet husband,

today's topic was to write a blog to someone who has made my heart come alive. i felt like the most obvious choice was you. you have no idea what your love has done to my heart. before i met you i was working with the LORD to mend my heart. it was so tattered and torn from being mistreated and not handled very carefully. i feel like it was hanging on by a tiny thread. i was trusting and hoping in the LORD that he would mend it and show me the right person to give it to, but in his time and not my own. oh my, did he ever show me the right person. before you, there was him. i thought i could be completely happy with him. i thought i was. but being with him slowly killed my heart. i couldnt be who i wanted around him. i couldnt wear my silly sparkly shoes. i couldnt be around my loud crazy family without feeling guilt. i just couldnt be comfortable in my own skin. i didnt know this then, but my feminine heart was not being cultivated the way that the LORD intended a man to cultivate his lady's heart. my heart was dying before my very eyes, and i was to blind to see it.

and then there was you. the moment i saw you i felt free. i felt like i was able to be 100% the woman that i was created to be. i felt like you loved every little thing about me and my heart 

(and i know that you still do). i felt my heart awaking and coming back to life. when i look at you i want to be a better me. i want to be a more free me. 

i want to wear my silly shoes, and dance my made up dance moves. i want to cry about things that dont make sense, and i want to tell you all about my hopes and my dreams. i want to serve you better, and serve the LORD with you. you made my heart come alive, and want to be a woman. but do you know why? you are able to do all of those things, and heal my hurting heart, and make it come alive all because of the LORD. so really, i am writing this letter to thank you for all the love and for all the ways you have cultivated my heart, but to also tell you that today, this letter about someone who has made my heart come alive is not going to be written to you, but to him. because i love him first and i love him more, and he has awakened and made my heart more alive than you ever could. 

i'll love you as long as he allows,

a

now for my real letter.

oh LORD my GOD,

you are awesome. and not in the way that i usually use that word, but you are awesome. i stand in awe of your grace, and your mercy, and you love. you knew me before the earth did. you stitched me together in my mama's womb. my for was not hidden by you and you know the number of my days. my heart was dead, cold and dead. you have used your marvelous creativity to show me your beauty. it is those things that caused me to fall in love. my heart was full of sin, and full of uglies. it was so broken and defeated. so many times in my life you sought me out. calling to me, and showing me your love. i never allowed you in, i never allowed you to make me feel alive. then there was that day. the day where i felt like i had nothing left. the day where i heard, " be more quiet now and wait for the LORD to sing to you"

i waited. i became the quietest i have ever been, and i heard you sing. in those moments, with the rain pouring outside i felt my heart burst with life. it felt like giving birth, i was struggling and didnt want to feel anything, and then as soon as i did what i felt was life bursting out of every part of my body. but this time it was my soul. the deepest parts of me, oh LORD, were alive because of your greatness. thank you, thank you, thank you, for saving my dead ugly soul. thank you for rescuing me and winning my heart. thank you for loving me more than my husband does, and for blessing me with a man who seeks to love me the way you commanded him to. you are my rock and my salvation, my first love. thank you for giving me everything that i do not deserve, and loving me despite my sin. i'll love you for the rest of eternity. 

your daughter, 

a 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

THE LIST:


Day 1.  What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2.  What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3.  Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4.  Style 31.  Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5.  Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6.  Jaded beauty.  Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7.  Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8.  Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)?  Share, please!
Day 9.  What virtues do you value in yourself?

Day 11.  Post a recipe.  Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12.  Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13.  Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14.  Style 31.  Post an outfit pic!
Day 15.  Write to encourage a friend.  Inspire her beauty.
Day 16.  Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life.  Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17.  Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18.  Describe your personality.
Day 19.  Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20.  Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.  
Day 21.  Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22.  What are some needs that need to be met in your community?  Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23.  What are your strengths?  What are your weaknesses?
Day 24.  What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25.  Style 31.  Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26.  What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27.  Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28.  Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29.  Write about "a day in the life of me."  (Pics are great!)
Day 30.  Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31.  Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!