more lessons in mamahood

it is no secret that mamahood is hard. 
it is no secret that sometimes you want to give up.
if you disagree with me, then i think you are either totally awesome, or totally fooling yourself. 

mamahood is not easy. 
especially being the mama of my 14 month old. 
oh i love maggie something fierce and she brings joy and sunshine 
into my life all the time.
but we are in a very difficult stage.
always, whining.
always, crying.
always, frustrated.
always, trying to communicate.
always, wanting to be with mama.
always, wanting our own way. 

& i know that this is going to be a short time. 
i know from experience that someday really soon, i'll
look back and miss this. {although thats SO hard to see now.}
but i know i will.
because as crazy at it sounds, i sort of miss the sleepless nights.
the constant bouncing to get her to calm down {my sweet friends still tease me about this crazy bounce routine! i love it. }
the baby wearing, so she would fall asleep.
the sweet smell of baby breath {because now, it smells like human breath.}
i miss it all.

last night i was trying to get ready to go out to dinner with one of my best friends. i was so excited to get out of the house, to wear lipstick, to put on makeup and curl my hair. i was ready for ME time.

i put on an episode of 'yo gabba gabb' to entertain mags as i got ready. she didnt even care about the catchy music or about what her favorite character, muno was doing in gabbaland - all she wanted was mama.  

i became annoyed. 
and then instantly prayed to ask Jesus to help me love my daughter even when i wanted to be alone. and he gave me the desire to not waste this chance at bonding with my daughter. to not waste this time to let her explore. 

so, i happily picked up my snot nosed, whiny toddler and plopped her right down into the sink.  she giggled with delight. pure, delight that she was sitting in the sink, able to see herself in the mirror and right next to mama. i smiled and then watched her start to grab my make up brushes and make up. & just when i was about to say {for the 900th time that hour} "no no", i watched my little lady use my hairbrush to comb her own hair. and my heart melted into a slushy puddle. i just felt so excited for her to explore and try all the things that mama does. i didnt tell her no at all. i let her pick up anything that was not dangerous and let her 'try' it out. i silently stood there, in awe of my little girl and how big she has become, wasnt it just yesterday that i was bringing her home from the hospital? i took these sweet photos and decided to lock this memory away in my heart and my mind as one of my favorite of my maggie pearl. 

as i was writing this blog post, i was just feeling to overwhelmed by mamahood and how hard it was. i was thinking to myself, "ally, & you want at least 2 more babies? what are you thinking? you can not handle it." which is a flat out lie. because i can handle anything that Jesus gives to me. i jumped over to facebook and saw that my sweet friend, kara, had shared this beautiful blog post that i quickly read with tears spilling out of my eyes and burdens being lifted off of my heart. if you have to time to read it, i think it is well worth it. 
you can read the post here. 


happy saturday, friends.