yesterday was a good day.
the sun was out, i woke up feeling like the LORD was near to me and that it was all ok.
that it didnt matter if maggie was here or not, that she would be here soon.
i went to starbucks for breakfast and a chai tea latte. usually i eat in the car, but yesterday i just sat in the coffeshop, and started out the window and thanked the LORD for a beautiful day, a sweet husband, a healthy baby, and salvation.
i headed to my appointment and while i was on the way i was listening to the christian radio. they were talking about people who had babies and held them for only a few short hours before Jesus took them into heaven.
i turned it off.
i didnt want to hear that.
i immediatly went into prayer for our sweet daughter and my fragile heart. i prayed that the LORD would keep her here, that the LORD would protect her. and then i prayed that he would protect me and my heart if his will was to take her to be with him.
i felt brave and confident and filled with the spirit as i walked into my appointment.
i felt the hand of the LORD on my heart and i felt him holding me close and telling me that it is all ok.
i didnt really know what to expect at this dr appointment.
i have obviously never been 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant,
and thought this was going to be a quick appointment.
Oh was i so wrong!!
i started with an ultrasound. it was a sweet gift that the LORD gave me!
i got to see our little sweet baby... her face, and her profile.
honestly, it was so hard to see that she didnt really look like anything but a smashed baby face, but i can tell she is going to be a lovely lady. :)
they made me lay and moniter her movements to make sure she was still very active... and she was.
after the results of the ultrasound came back, i was told that my levels of amniotic fluid are low. that means that needed to push more fluids into my body,
and stay rested. no more cleaning, organizing, running around. nothing.
if that doesnt help my fluid, then on wednesday (tomorrow?!) i will be induced.
which means, that tomorrow there is a chance that we get to meet miss maggie.
i was nervous and excited all at the same time.
so, here i am sitting on the couch, (where i feel like i have been for years... even though it has really only been 2 days.)
and thinking and praying about what all of this means.
it means that tomorrow, when i leave here at 11am, i might not ever come back home
without a baby. it means that
i will not get to experience the thrill of "oh my gosh, i think i am in labor!" (at least not this time!), it means that i will walk into the hospital fully "prepared" to give birth.
its weird, and exciting.
so, i covet prayers.
prayers that our baby stays healthy. prayers that we are doing the right things.
prayers that if this is not what the LORD wants for us, that my fluid will go up.
prayers that i am ok with whatever situation he gives us. and praise that i feel so at peace
and so ok with whatever happens. i am anxious to meet my daughter.
i am anxious to hold her in my arms. i have been waiting for her,
for a really long time... and its so close i can almost touch it.
i feel joy and nerves.
pray for my sweet husband,
who has been faithfully serving me.
we are excited, but it doesnt feel real because
i dont know what tomorrow will bring.
i am just resting in the LORD and it is the sweetest feeling i could have.
i think i will go paint my nails, in case i do get to meet my daughter tomorrow...