1 + 1 = 3

thats right dear friends. the MacEwen family is growing!

on feb 27, i woke up with a great deal of anxiety in my heart. i just knew that something was different and i really wanted it to be a baby, but i wanted it to be a baby so badly that i was to afraid to find out. because if it wasn't a baby, then i was going insane. to distract myself, i went to the starbucks across the street from our new apartment, as i got to the counter to order my drink, the manager at the espresso bar asked me if i wanted to work there. with an intense amount of uncertainty and certainty at the same time i told her yes. i knew that by saying that my entire life would change, (little did i know that would only be the start of things changing that day!) no more covtown, no more familiar customers, no more driving, no more 3AM alarm clocks! i told her yes and we talked and decided that i would ( as long as my manager approved) step down, become a barista and start work there in a few short weeks! my anxiety was gone! i just knew the LORD has blessed me with something wonderful and i spent a good part of that day just basking in the goodness and grace of the LORD. i had been talking to my sweet friend Megan and sharing with her my desire to be a mama and how weird and different i had been feeling lately, and she just kept telling me to take the test. my sweet husband was in the same boat as meg, he just knew i was pregnant and had been telling me that for weeks. but i just couldn't bring myself to take the test. it was just way to scary. nick was on his way home from work and so i decided that i would take the test as soon as he got home. i knew i needed his support. nick and i had been praying for a baby for months... and we had really felt like the LORD was telling us it was an ok time. way back in october we were at church and pastor mark preached a sermon on abortion and we felt convicted that it was time to have a baby. we had no idea what we were waiting for and we didn't feel any discouragement from the LORD, our hearts felt open to having a sweet little baby. and so we put the LORD in control and prayed for the desires of our hearts. nick came home and i took the test. and i walked away, letting it sit the few minutes that it needed to sit, i swear that i have never been more anxious in my life. i knew that as soon as i looked at that test if there was 2 lines, our lives would change forever, in a moment. and i also knew that if that test only had 1 then my heart would be sad. i was trusting only in the sovereignty of God. nick on the other hand was so excited, i think it was because he already "knew" the answer. so we went in and looked at the results together... there indeed were 2 lines! i gasped, he giggled, and about 2 minutes later we did what we told the LORD we would do, and gave this sweet tiny little baby back to Him. this baby is not ours. it does not belong to nick or i, it belongs the the LORD Jesus Christ, it belongs to our heavenly father, and we are just stewarding this gift of life.

so we are at 10 weeks today! i cant believe that for 10 weeks a little baby has been growing inside of me. the LORD has been knitting this child inside of my womb, he knows everything about this sweet little one... and i think it is so cool! the first few weeks were hard... i was sick, i had no energy, i was sick... then i caught a cold, but the LORD is faithful. since week 8 i have been feeling alot better, and have had more energy. and like i said at the very beginning of this post, Gods grace has been pouring out on us. we moved into a much better apartment, i work across the street (which means more sleep, which means less nausea!) and we are expecting this sweet little baby in november, on the very same day that nick asked me to be his wife! who could put all this together? no one but our Jesus. i love knowing that even though our lives will be forever changed, that our father will be forever glorified.

"LB" (little baby) at 6 weeks. (i know the photo is dark, i will try to fix it soon!

my 10 week "baby bump"