5.22.2014

the one about our car.

so last week.

we had a heat wave. it was amazing. swimsuits, sunscreen, sand, summer was here for a few days.
my car doesnt have AC but Mags and i were making the best of it. leaving the house every day, soaking up as much sun as we could, spending hours at the beach. we were both really looking forward to thursday. on thursday we had plans to meet with lots of friends at a beach park, but first we got to take some other sweet friends to the airport. we packed up our bags, hopped in our car and head over to pick up our friends. we drove to the airport and back, hopped back in our car and headed for the beach. a little later that we had planned, but we were on our way!

Something in me said, "Ally stop for an iced coffee" and i argued with that inner voice about how we didnt really have the extra money in the budget for a coffee i didnt need. but something was pushing me to stop. i didnt even want the dang espresso over ice but i ordered it anyway. since i stopped at the starbucks i used to work at, i stayed in the drive thru a little longer than normal, chatting with an old coworker. (i promise these details are important) we got about a mile away from our house, nearly to the freeway when this light came on the dashboard. within seconds the car started shaking and chugging. i pulled over into a gas station that was sketchy, went inside and asked some guy that was there for help, bought a gallon of cold water because i was told my car probably was overheating and needed some water. the guy was super calm and helpful, he told me that there was a problem with the coolant, but that it was probably driveable. i was annoyed at the car trouble, because we ALWAYS have car trouble. but determined to get to the beach i headed out. 

the car could barely go. like my foot was on the gas pedal pressed to the floor and it was chugging and shaking and making terrible sounds as it was barely going 10 miles an hour. i knew it was bad. i prayed and yelled the entire mile back to our house as i chugged slowly with my flashers on, getting all kinds of fingers and honks and yelling from other drivers. my 3 year old sat in the back seat reminding me to calm breath and telling me it was going to be ok, that Jesus would keep us safe. we barely made it home, but we did. i was thankful to be parked in our parking lot. frustrated to inconvenience my friend who was now coming to pick me up, and angry and anxious about the car issue. My Maggie was calm. she was encouraging, she was sweet, and she was just what i needed.
the next day we had a mechanic come look at the car.
he informed us that it was basically dead. blown head gasket. totally overheated and warped in some areas. the cost of the work was more than the car was worth so we just decided to not fix it.

guys. im going to be real with you.

I LOST MY MIND.


Like i screamed at the Lord for not providing. I told him i wanted to walk away. too many hard things were happening. we were not getting anything good. no job promotion. no baby. a broken car. anxiety. depression. not enough money. i was angry. angry about everything. i felt defeated and unloved by Jesus. I felt like He could have made the car magically work, as a gift to remind me that he cared, but He didnt. i truly felt like He didnt care at all. i had 2 amazing ladies talk to me, encourage me and pray with me, one left her kids with a sitter and came to my house to share scripture and encourage me. those ladies are amazing. they mean so much, real gems. i needed friends and there they were. God provided them to me. i didnt see that then, and i only see that now. He did give me a gift that night, a gift to show me that He is good.

switching gears a bit (hahaha, pun intended!)

if you follow me on instagram you will notice that on fridays i usually participate in the #fridayintroductions that Jessi and Hayley started. a few weeks ago i had a few new ladies follow me, some of which were from the PNW. i was excited to start connecting with them, and maybe possibly (if i got brave enough) meet up with some of them!
last friday was no different. i participated even though my day had been such a pile. i mostly only joined in because i didnt want to miss my chance to talk about my favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird.

image

i talked about how our car was busted and we didnt have a lot of money to spend on a new one and then the sweet Laura commented about how they were selling their car.
i immediately got in contact with her,  and after a series of emails and phone calls we went to look at their car.

guys. this car that they were selling was/is my dream.
its like a mom car.
lots of space.
AIR CONDITIONING.
so many amazing things.
i wanted this car so badly.
not to mention, that Laura and her family are SWEET, love Jesus and made me want to stay all day and talk.

Nick and I took a day to pray about it.
this car was an amazing deal.
like we could never get another deal like it.
so, even though we dont have a lot of extra cash, we felt right about taking the plunge and buying this car.

we drove excitedly to Lauras house last night, and were ready to offer them the money for this car that will serve our family so well. this car that Jesus provided in the most creative way.
when we got there, our kids played, we talked and because Jesus is amazing, they offered us the car for less than we were offering them - - the exact amount that we felt was our maximum budget!! i could cry when i think of their generosity. i could cry when i think about how Jesus gifted me something amazing when our car broke last week.

image

so, because of Laura and her family we are now very excited owners of a hyundai sante fe!
it has space for us to (hopefully) grow - - it has space to take friends places - - it has space for maggies bike! its so perfect for us, and such a giant blessing. a huge gift from Jesus. and the best part is i got a lovely new friend out of the deal too! :)

back to the start of this crazy story, today i am thankful. but dont be fooled, because i was angry. i was trying so hard to control my life and my circumstances that i couldnt even praise Jesus for somehow getting me to stop for that not in the budget coffee so that my car didnt stop working on the freeway. i couldnt see that he was working something bigger and better for me, but i was selfishly angry about all the junk that has been happening.

yesterday my friend Rose posted this quote from Timothy Keller on facebook,If you say: I believed in God, I trusted God, and He didn't come through, you only trusted God to meet your agenda. "and it really hit me. hard.
because that is exactly what happened to me.

Jesus is still good even though our car broke.
Jesus is still good even though i dont have another baby in my belly.
Jesus is still good even though there is a lot of hurt.
Jesus is still good even though Nick didnt get the job.
Jesus is still good even though there is not a lot of money.
and He would still be good even if we didnt get this car, this blessing.

image

Today we took our new car through the drive through and ask the soapy water rushed over the outside of my car and the swishing and scrubbing hummed loudly, i took a few minutes to thank Jesus for this blessing, for His goodness even in the midst of my heartaches, and i allowed Him to wash over my ugly, controlling, anxiety ridden heart and make it clean.

i still cant believe we got a car, because of a hashtag on instagram.
Jesus can use anything, cant He?!

2 comments:

  1. this is so amazzzzing ally! i love your perspective. dan and I are learning some HARD lessons in trusting the lord to provide for us. he always does. ALWAYS. xo <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! Your perspective is very uplifting. I'm happy that you were able to buy the car. You totally deserve it. Anyway, I hope your new car has proven it's worth well with you and your family. Thanks for sharing that, Ally! All the best! :)

    Diane Wilson @ Fletcher Chrysler

    ReplyDelete

please say hello & leave your sweet thoughts!