do you ever have those days that you just want to bottle up? the days that you just want to keep forever and ever?
the past few days with maggie have been like that for me.
the girl has been killing me with the words coming out of her mouth. things like,
mama, where is daddy?
he is at work, baby.
awwww man! can i have a coffee?
or
mama, is daddy sleepin?
nope. he is still at work.
oh, i know! he is in the bath!
no baby, he is at work.
ohhhh i know!! he is makin pizzas. makin pizzas!
she
has been giving me more snuggles than normal. always asking if she can
be a baby - and then wanting me to hold and rock her. she is growing up
so fast, but still so little.
this
week i was looking around in the messiest closet in our apartment for
her gloves. and i hear some lip smacking and a sweet little, " mama, mama, yook at me, yook at me!" the
words "maggie, just wait" almost fell from my lips, but i stopped
myself and indulged in her request. as i brought my head out of the
closet i saw my sweet toddler with her belly pushed out, hands behind
her back, bedhead at its finest and her proud smile - lips perfectly
puckered and a twinkle in her eye.
i
freeze. should i discipline or giggle? should i tell her playing in
mama's make up is a big huge no-no or should i stop and enjoy this
moment?
i went over to my daughter, i looked her straight in the eye and i told her she looked so fancy. her face beamed. she swayed her little body back and forth and continued to jabber on about how she wanted to wear "yips" {which means lips in maggie talk...} we walked hand in hand to the bathroom where she showed me how she stood on her tippy toes to reach my bright red lipstick. and i watched her put it on over and over. she applies it very carefully, and doesnt get it all over her face - surprisingly most of it actually gets on her slimy little lips. she puts the lid back on carefully and says, " yook at me! yook at me!! mama, you take pickchure and i say cheeeese!"
i
pulled that camera phone out of my pocket and took nearly 10 photos of
my little girl. telling her she looked so fancy, and that she was
beautiful even without the lips. to be in that moment with her, watching
her feel so grown up, so much like her mama, trying so hard to be just
like me - my heart welled up with emotion. she is watching, she is
learning and she is the sweetest thing to ever happen to me.
we
played around for a little while with my makeup brushes and lipstick
and then i told her that next time she wants to "wear lips" she needs to
ask mama. later that night, when she was getting ready to go out on a
date with nick, she asked me, "mama, i wear pink yips pwease?" i smiled
and allowed a little bit of pink gloss on her baby lips.
the
moments like this are becoming more frequent. more often i want to
bottle her up and keep her at this sweet stage forever. i cant seem to
get enough of her and am saving all these memories, all the feelings and
tucking them in the corners of my heart and mind to be there when we
are having days that i want to scream, days where i want to be selfish
and for the days that she doesnt want to cuddle me and have me help her
put on her "yips."
love.
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