two.

dear margaret pearl,
today you are two. today you are beautiful. today you are special. today you are you.

two years ago today i was laying in a hospital bed. i was exhausted. my legs were numb. i was a mother. a brand new mama. i had no real idea of what was lying ahead of me. i remember how small you were. when you were wrapped so tightly in that hospital blanket, i could hardly believe that you were mine. that i grew you in my womb. that you kicked and wiggled and hiccuped inside of me for 9 months and 7 days. 

when i looked into your eyes i saw pure beauty. i had no idea what was waiting for us when we got home. no idea the journey we were on together. and it was hard. and it was rough. and it was beautiful. that first year of our life together, i have regrets. i have a heavy heart sometimes. but i have YOU. sweet, beautiful YOU. 
this year has been all kinds of lovely. and all kinds of difficult. but i think that you and i are always going to have that type of a relationship. i think thats okay. its always a dance with you and i. a dance that i never want to stop learning.

at two years old you are a bright, joyful, energetic, funny and sassy little lady. i pray that you never lose any of those qualities. you talk more than i ever imagined. you are strong and independent. you are shy and quiet. you have the best belly laugh of anyone i know. you love to play and the love you have for people you care about is deep. its amazing to watch you become a little person right before my eyes. 

you my sweet, sweet daughter, mean the world to me. you are such a beautiful gift. i want to cherish you. to hold you close. i want to protect you from the world. i want to hide you away and keep you all to myself, but at the same time i want to scream at the top of my lungs and tell the world how incredible you are. you are a JOY. please dont ever forget that. please dont let the world tell you that you are not good enough. please never let the world and its lies get you down. if there is one thing that i want you to be certain of, it is that you were wanted. you were deeply, deeply wanted. and not just by your daddy and i, but you are deeply, deeply wanted by Jesus. he loves you just the way you are. before time began, he wanted you. he still wants you. if i teach you one thing in this life, i hope it is how deeply Jesus loves you.

as we celebrate the past 2 years of your life, i am thankful. beyond thankful actually. your friendship, your love and your life have brought me such great joy, such deep fear and such an overwhelming love for Jesus. you are such a gift, and today, like everyday i am thankful for you. 

i cant wait to celebrate you with cupcakes, and friends and hello kitty. i cant wait to celebrate YOU with the things that you love. i adore you margaret, and i cant wait to see what year THREE is going to be like. i am sure we will be kicking and screaming and giggling the whole way. 

xoxo,
mama