this is mostly for me, but you can read it too.

my "to do" list is so long right now.
blogging is certainly not on it.
but i have way to much going on in my head and my heart, and this thing that i am struggling with needs to be shared. maybe for you, but it certainly needs to be shared for me. 

tomorrow we are throwing a small birthday party for maggie. we pretty much kept it to grandparents, really close friends & families with kids maggie's age. because last year we threw a HUGE party and it was really stressful for all of us. to be honest, nick and i love parties, but neither of us are to excited about hosting them. its kinda nerve wracking for us. 

last night i just sat down and bawled my eyes out to my husband. 
here is the thing about me and this silly little pancake party for a 2 year old - i am stressing out of my mind because {if i am honest} it is not going to look like a pinterest party. i have no really cute handmade decorations. nothing really fun planned and im worried that people wont think it looks pretty or fun. 
while driving in the car praying and asking Jesus to forgive me for dwelling on something SO silly, this thought kept coming into my head, 

now, i 100% love pinterest but the truth is, i see all these amazing parties for 2 year olds. AMAZING parties that i wish so badly i could throw for my girl. but thats not real life. i mean, maybe it is their real life, but it is not my real life. okay, in my real life i have a budget of $100 for this party, i have been on and off sick with a cold and toothache for the past 2 weeks so i have not really had much time to create handmade things. and you know what, 

it is okay. 

it is totally okay that my party is not going to be oohed and ahhed over. its not about me anyways. it is about celebrating my little girl. my sweet beautiful daughter who is turning 2 years old and loves pancakes, pajamas, her friends and family,sprinkles, dancing and balloons. so what if all i have are a package of pink balloons, some tissue paper flowers and a banner that i found on the clearance rack at target. who cares if people leave early because there is nothing "fun" to do. so, instead of crying about how "not perfect" her party is going to be, i am going to choose to find joy in celebrating my girl. right now, i am going to make the best of what i have and just have fun. i am going to relax and chill out and just enjoy celebrating my daughter, and the 2 years the LORD has given us with her. i am going to cry tears of thankfulness for her full and beauty-filled life instead of tears of discontentment over her party. 

i am going to just stop searching on pinterest for "pancake party ideas" and go blow up that package of balloons with joy. and i am going to keep saying "it is what it is, and what it is, is perfect." until i cant anymore. {which will be after 2 times, because i can barely type that out without getting tongue tied.}



  1. Oh Ally! It hurts me to read this, it so doesn't matter! Your daughter won't care and neither will your family or friends, I'm quite sure of it :)

    Don't be so hard on yourself, kid's that age don't want party games/activities anyways! It'd be so much harder and stressful if you were trying to do all that too. Have a wonderful party, enjoy your precious daughter and have a wonderful time with your family and friends :)

    1. thanks Heidi! i know it so does not matter. and thats why i am changing my attitude. its such a silly thing to be stressed by anyways. usually i am pretty good at keeping focus on the things that really do matter, but for some reason i let it spread discontentment in my heart. so thankful for grace, and for the truth! {and your encouragement!} xoxo

  2. Ah! Perfectionism - my constant companionable ruiner of happiness!!!

    This gets to me in my workouts and in running our home..."it's not perfect so it is no good at all! why do I even bother?" Lies from the pit of hell.

    Jesus is our perfection and so what else do we need?

    1. AMEN. that is totally the attitude i had. i seriously almost cancelled her party like 3 times because i was not happy with how it was turning out. how terrible is that? i let those silly lies almost talk me out of having a celebration for my 2 year old. thats gross. and you are right, Jesus is our perfection, so what else do we need! thank you for sharing Meghan!

  3. Pinterest puts so much pressure on moms these days. I think most of it is not real life and so much is staged. If she remembers anything at 2, it will be that she remembers being loved. The decorations don't matter! Loving on her is all that matters. Have fun and laugh with her!

  4. And oops!! That above comment was me!!! ;) i was accidentally signed in as my co-ops newspaper. haha

  5. You just summed up in this post why I stopped doing the big party hoopla.
    Turns out, my kids got old enough to tell me that the stress, money spent and time consumed on it was NOT fun for them. Having one or two friends over to play dress-ups, eat yummy sugary food and watch their favorite movie was. Amazing.


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