this is going to be short, because i have to clean up my house, fix my hair and face, and probably should eat something before our sweet friends drop off the (new to us!) chair for miss maggie's room, but i am just anxiously awaiting the arrival of our sweet baby. i know that she is not officially due until nov 7, but i want her to come so badly. monday will mark the date of our original due date, and you have no idea how badly i want her to come before then... or really soon thereafter. i know that i need to, that i must be patient and wait on the LORD for the perfect timing, but it is SO much harder than i thought. i thought it would just be easy, just waiting and waiting. i thought that it would be exciting and that i would be able to do so many things... but instead i am sitting in bed, dreaming of having our daughter and wishing that she was coming today. it's the weirdest feeling because i know that no matter what i do i have NO control over how or when she arrives. Yesterday was my last day at starbucks for the next 3-4 months. it's really exciting but really stressful. i am constantly nervous about what it will be like to not be at work, and then what it will be like having to go back. at first i thought that i would want to have at least a week or so to myself before our baby comes, but now i am not so sure. i honestly dont care about sleeping in, about doing whatever i want, or just having a week to relax. i just want to see and hold and kiss and smell my sweet little maggie. OH but then when i think about her actually coming, its so overwhelming! excitement and anxiety rush through my bones. i think, am i ready to actually give birth? i know that the LORD will sustain me and carry me through the entire process, so that makes it a little bit easier. i just know what i want. i want to have our baby. i want to hold our baby. i want to dress her and take pictures of her and share her with the world. i want to do that today, i have no other plans, so today seems like a good one. but i have not really considered what the LORD wants. when does He want maggie to come? when does he want me to hold her? when does he want nick to see his daughters face? the choice is not mine. no matter how hard i try, this little girl is not coming until her heavenly father literally pushes her out. i need to rest in knowing he knows so much better than i do. i need to rest in that, i must. otherwise the next 2 weeks are going to be very, very hard.