When I began drafting this post, I imagined a list detailing all the ways to love a single person. Don’t set us up with your brother, or your second cousin once removed, or anyone for that matter. Stop telling us Jesus has someone for us, that’s not a Biblical truth. And, if you ask us one more time why we’re single, we will lose our minds. All of those things above are true and reflect my feelings, but that’s not really how to love single women. Like real, deep love. Like love your neighbor as yourself kind of love. The kind of love we’re only capable of because Christ loved us first. I thought of my friendships with various married women over the last five years. I thought of women who opened their homes to high school small groups, to teenagers sprawled on rugs, eager to learn what it means to walk with Jesus. I thought of babysitting moms who showed me for the first time what a Jesus-centered family looks like, the same women who offered me sweet advice after I had my heart broken, kind and loving and protective. I thought of some of my dearest friends today, married with children. What I love most about these women is their transparency. They are women who are willing and able to acknowledge their brokenness. They understand the pain of living in a fallen world and the joys of having Jesus Christ as their savior. And they know that even though they spend their days chasing littles, wiping noses, and cleaning messes, we’re all the same. Marrieds and singles alike, we’re all sinners in need of a Savior (Romans 3:23). And as Christians, we’re all children of Christ (John 1:12-13). All of us are equal: equally broken, equally saved, equally loved. Our day-to-day lives look different, but who we are, who we love and live for, it’s all the same. So practically, what does friendship between married women and single women mean? It means I’m more than okay with coming over to your house on days you tell me it’s never been messier. It means I don’t mind unbathed babies and piles of laundry. Heck, I’ll help you bathe them and we can drink coffee and fold that laundry together. It means I’m more than happy to sit on your couch and snuggle your babies. It means I want to hear your heart, your struggles, your joys - even if I haven’t walked through the same trials. I want to give you prayer and offer you advice where I can and quiet, sympathetic head nods where I can’t. In return, ask me how I’m doing, and really mean it. Tell me you’ve been praying for me, and actually do it. Point me to Jesus when I tell you my life feels crazy and hectic and like I have too much on my plate. Tell me you understand when I tell you a story, and offer me advice. Invite me over to hang out with your family, be part of your life. Above all, let’s both remember that we’re loved so deeply that God sent his son Jesus Christ to die for us so our relationships with him could be reconciled and our sins forgiven. Then let’s love one another with that love.
Lizzy is born and raised in the Seattle area. She loves Jesus and He loves her more. She divides her time between interning at her church, making coffee, and getting paid to hang out with people’s babies. She’s a self-proclaimed dance party enthusiast. She’s seen every episode of Friends at least twice. Her favorite things include getting mail, shelves of books, and familiar places. She loves people. Especially ones who are passionate. Oh, and she’s not a blogger. Other places to find her: Twitter - twitter.com/elizabethrolf Instagram - instagram.com/elizabethrolf Design Blog - elizabethrolf.blogspot.com