a little story about what Jesus is doing in our lives.

when nick and i were engaged we did our premarital counseling at mars hill church in ballard. every sunday we would go to church at mars hill bellevue, then quickly drive all the way to ballard to make it in time for our class. one sunday very close to our wedding, we decided to go to the class and then attend an evening service at MH ballard. i will never ever forget that day. 

during that sermon pastor mark put out a call for 900 men to step up and lead. 900 men to become pastors, elders, deacons, community group leaders, redemption group leaders, church planters etc. as he was preaching and explaining why he needed 900 men, what the vision for mars hill church was, and all the ways that Jesus was growing and blessing this church, i felt something ache inside of me. my heart started to beat faster and harder. my fingers and my toes felt numb. i felt like i could just jump out of my seat and scream " yes yes yes" to everything he was saying. i felt drawn to do more than just attend church. i felt Jesus telling me that i needed to get involved in ministry - that he wanted me to be involved. he was calling me - and i was ready to answer. i glued my eyes to the ground with tears welling up inside, telling Jesus, "yes Lord. I'll do what you ask." knowing that after the service, if nick did not feel the same calling, that we would have to have a serious conversation about if we were supposed to be together. if i felt called to be a part of Mars Hill in a bigger way - or really any ministry, and nick didnt feel it at all, then that would make being a team really hard. my body was shaking on the inside. because of fear. fear of losing the man i loved, fear of not following what Jesus was asking me and fear of what exactly Jesus would ask me to do. we took communion. i didnt touch nick. i didnt look at him. i couldnt. 

as the music ended, i finally looked at my husband to be. the first words out of his mouth were, " do you feel what i feel right now?" my heart started beating so hard i thought for sure people around me could hear it. i responded very confidently, " i feel like we cant not do this." as the words left my lips i knew that this moment would be a turning point for us. nick responded with, " i feel the same way. lets go tell somebody." i grabbed that Godly mans hand and held it so tight. the Holy Spirit had moved in my heart and in the heart of my almost husband. we found ourselves talking to a pastor, telling them about how we felt. they had us fill out a paper and instructed nick to talk to our campus pastor about this, and about going to an acts29 bootcamp. he did, and he went. 

what he learned at that bootcamp was that the Lord had indeed put a call on his life to ministry. we just didnt know where or how. nick currently served on the greeting team and in a worship band, but we were not members, or in a community group. and i was not even serving. he felt a little discouraged and a lot motivated to lead us by finding a community group and becoming members as soon as we said "i do."

we found a group a month later that met right near our house. it was the only CG in renton at the time and was getting ready to split off to maple valley - my hometown. we jumped right in and started attending every week, even though i was so nervous and anxious i kept going, knowing that this is what Jesus wanted us to do. a few weeks went by and nick expressed his interest in leading a community group to our leader and told them about how Jesus had called us to something bigger than just attending Church. they trained him up, and by that fall we were leading our own group. by the grace of Jesus he allowed us to love and Serve his people for the next 2 years. during that time nick and i both felt like while leading a community group is amazing, that it is not exactly where Jesus wanted us - we both felt a burden on our hearts for counseling and watching people discover redemption through Jesus and the cross. the 2 years that we were cg leaders were tough. we were newlyweds, i was pregnant, we were new parents, and then i was depressed. it was last summer that we decided it was time to go through redemption group ourselves and it what then that nick felt confirmed to serve in redemption groups. 

in january of this year we handed our community group over to another leader and nick began to learn how to lead a redemption group. he loved it. i had not seen that much passion for something in my husband since we first started leading a CG 2 years ago. he felt like this was right where he was supposed to be. 

earlier this summer, we went to a meeting at church where our pastor asked people to step up. become deacons, elders, leaders - step up and serve Jesus in bigger ways than you were currently. we both left that meeting with that same feeling in our hearts, that there was something more for us, something bigger- and that it was right around the corner. 
a few days later nick was sent an email from a friend encouraging him to apply for an internship in the music department at Mars Hill Bellevue. it was crazy, because we both felt like it was the right thing to do. even though it might have required nick to quit his job and for us to raise full financial support, or for nick to get a part time job and intern at the church 25+ hours a week. it was scary and it didnt make any sense, but we felt peace about it. 

to make a long story short{er}, he applied, interviewed and was chosen. but not for the internship that he had first applied for. nick was chosen to intern in the biblical living/counseling department - a place that God had called him to 3 years ago. 
i am excited. i am so excited about what Jesus is going to do in the life of my husband. i am so excited about the ways that we are going to see Jesus work over the next 12-14 months. i feel blessed that the Lord would call him to this internship, one that doesnt require him to quit his current job. i feel blessed that the Lord has taken us on this sweet journey to where we are today. i am excited. 

i am nervous. 
nervous about all the same things i am excited for. 
nervous about what Jesus is doing in MY life and where he is calling me to start serving. {i'll write more about that later. but its awesome, and totally shows that God has a sense of humor.}
but more than being nervous, i am excited! 

friends, following Jesus and the call he places on your life is not easy. it has not been an extremely smooth or fun ride, but it has been worth it. totally worth it. i am so thankful for that day that i sat in ballard and allowed the holy spirit to speak to me. i am grateful that i listened. 

i would ask you to please pray for us as we enter what looks like the busiest season of our life. pray for our marriage. for maggie. for our financial situation. for nick. for myself. 

my heart is full. its blessed and encouraged. this might be the busiest season of our lives, but i feel like its also going to be one of the most beautiful, fruitful and exciting seasons that we have had.