emergency.

this weekend was quite possibly the most emotionally draining weekend i have had in a really long time. 
as most of you know {thanks facebook, twitter & instagram} we have had a very sick little girl over the past 4 days. i have told the story at least 900 times, but i want to document it, to share with maggie about how Jesus protected her and how many people love her and were {still are} praying for her. i also want to say THANK YOU to every single one of you who prayed for our daughter. it is the most encouraging thing, to know that the body is praying for your little one. nick and i have appreciated all of your kind words, prayers and love for our little girl. 


it started out on friday. maggie woke up around 5:30 in the morning. she NEVER does that. she went back to sleep until around 7 which is still early for her. she was just completely off. whining, wouldnt sleep, restless and cranky. i could tell that she was not feeling well, but she gets sick often and i figured it was just a regular cold. 

this is her on friday, not having a good day.

i was doing a garage sale with my aunt so we went there. maggie clung to me the entire morning. she wouldnt eat, barely drank anything and when she was not on my hip, she just was just whinny and naughty. my mom came and picked her up for the afternoon and said that she maybe slept 35 minutes. she was restless and whiny but again, we figured that she was coming down with a cold.

 after the garage sale was over, i picked up my girl and noticed that she could hardly drink her milk. she kept choking on it and her voice was getting raspy. she was drooling more than usual {which if you know maggie, then that is a lot of drool!} she finally fell asleep and when we got home i was rocking her to put her in bed and she asked me in the saddest voice ever, "why mama, why?" i kissed her and told her, "i dont know baby, sometimes we just get sick" and layed her down - thinking that nick and i had the rest of the evening to ourselves. 

about 30 minutes later she woke up, screaming at the top of her lungs. i ran into her room and picked her up. i tried rocking her for a second but quickly noticed that she was struggling to breathe. i bolted outside yelling to nick, "she can not breathe, she can not breathe" and praying that she would stop crying so that she could catch her breath. she did, and we brought her inside to call the dr and see what would happen. she laid on the ground, restless and moaning. trying to fall asleep but have a harder time catching her breath. she was coughing that barky cough, and getting hotter by the minute. 

we decided to take her to the urgent care- this didnt seem to be getting any better. we changed her sweat drenched clothes and noticed that her tummy was turning a blotchy shade of purple. as we drove to the urgent care i just kept praying that they would see that there is something wrong with my baby. {we usually have pretty bad luck at urgent care..} she would grab her throat every time she coughed and whisper, "ouch" she was quiet and hot, and wheezing with every breath. every word she said was barely a whisper. 

as soon as we walked into the urgent care they took us to a room. a doctor immediately came in and started to check her temp - 99.9, he told me he noticed her wheezing, that it was not good and got a nebulizer with epinephrine started right away. as the cool mist of epinephrine surrounded maggies face, she calmed down quite a bit. he told us that her oxygen levels were low and that he wanted her transported to the nearest hospital right away by ambulance. he did not know if she was going to stop breathing or not, and he wanted to be safe. 

nick left to meet us at the ER and maggie and i waited for the ambulance to arrive. she finished her breathing treatment and finally fell asleep - when they came in and gave her a shot of steroid in her leg. i have never ever been so fearful for my childs life, and felt so sad for her. she looked miserable. we got all strapped into the ambulance, her asleep on my chest, they turned the lights on and we headed to the ER. the whole time i was just thinking and praying about how i needed to not freak out, and needed to be strong for my baby girl. i talked to the paramedic and he told me about what they would do if she did in fact stop breathing. somewhere along the ride i mentioned to him that it was turning out to be an expensive friday night, he smiled and told me that they were not going to bill us for the ambulance ride, because it was a life support ambulance. we apparently pay for it with our taxes. i about lost it, praising Jesus, because we can not really afford this little emergency and he was providing. 

finally asleep while waiting for the ambulance.

maggie slept the entire way to the ER, and woke up right as we pulled in. they got us settled in a room, and started another cool mist breathing treatment that lasted 3 or so hours. they gave her a chest x-ray, and found nothing wrong with her lungs {praise Jesus!!} but did diagnose her with severe croup and an inner ear infection. they told us that if we had waited any longer, she would have stopped breathing and we would have had to call 911. after 3 hours of her breathing treatment, our little lady had most of her color come back and she was starting to get a lot of energy {thanks to the steroids.} we were sent home with some antibiotics and told to use a cool mist humidifier for the next few days and to follow up with the doctor on saturday {if still bad} or monday. 

watching some peppa pig while getting some help to breathe.

poor sick baby.

family.

nick and i had not really processed all that was happening, but knew that people were praying for our girl, and that her life was indeed being protected by Jesus. we brought her home around midnight, tucked her in her own bed and as i got in bed i just laid there thinking about how scary this all was. how in just 5 hours time she went from not feeling well, to not being able to breathe. how she was turning purple and wheezing with every breath. how we could have lost our little girl had we waited longer to take her in. how Jesus must have a plan for this little girl because he didnt take her home. and about how amazing it is that he healed her, so quickly and that it didnt get any worse.

finally allowing a few tears.

lowest quality picture ever. but i love it.

we woke up the next morning tired, but thankful. she seemed to be doing better all day saturday - way better than we expected. she spent the day breathing in cool mist and hanging out on the couch watching shows. same thing on sunday. but sunday night her little cough came back. my nervous mama heart started to feel unsure again on monday morning when she woke up with that nasty barking cough and drool. this time i was not messing around. we went in to the doctor where they said that she was not really getting better, but they were not too concerned about her breathing, and they gave us stronger antibiotic and some steroids to take to help calm the cough. 

breathing easy.

today, she is better. coughing is still hard, and yucky. but she is pretty much on the mend. the hardest part is getting her to take her very icky medicine. 

waiting at the doctor

this weekend was HARD. but i learned a lot and grew a ton. Jesus used this emergency to show me that i am a mama. a strong mama, who can trust in Him and take care of her child. for some reason, i feel like i can finally join the rank of mamahood. my role seems more real to me. the bond between maggie and i is stronger than its ever been, and i could just praise Jesus all day for that. i learned to surrender my child to Jesus and trust that he will take care of her, and that he can bring us through trials so much more smoothly than if we try to go at them on our own. 

every girl needs painted toes when they dont feel good.

thank you for your prayers, your thoughts, your kind words and your love for our little family. it means more to us than you know.