mama fail. {i dont do puke}

i have 2 pretty large fears, and both of those fears are things that you can not predict when they will happen. 
earthquakes and throw up.
i hate earthquakes, and i am terrified that every time our apartment shakes it means that this is 'the big one'.{i once thought that we were having an earthquake while i was working at starbucks and shouted for everyone to take cover, while ducking under a table. then i got laughed at because it was just a semi truck driving by.} i hate throw up just as much. like, i cant even watch a cartoon that has puke in it. i have to shut my eyes and then i have the wiggly feeling in my stomach everytime i think about it. when other people around me throw up i just freak out. when i was in elementry school, if a kid got sick, they had to escort me out of the room because i would start having a full on panic attack. if i am the one that needs to throw up, i again, have a panic attack just thinking about it. its ridiculous but its true. 

so, you can imagine the thoughts running through my head when maggie woke up at 10am yesterday morning with puke all over in her bed. i opened the door to that icky sick smell and my sweet little girl was confused at what just happened to the contents of her tummy, and then looked at me and full on barfed. i had no idea what to do. i had a major mom fail. instead of comforting my sweet little girl, like a mama should - I FREAKED OUT. i went running out of her room, pacing back and forth and in panic i called about 10 people to ask what i should do and no one answered. so i prayed and asked Jesus to help me face this fear, and boldly  walked into her bathroom, drew a bath and plopped my stinky, puke covered lady right in the water. she was instantly happy and it gave me some time to get a plan together. (aka, call all the people i could think of to tell me what to do.) after one friend prayed for me, and another encouraged me to just comfort and love my baby in spite of my fears and gave me advice on what to do, i scrubbed the throw up out of maggies sweet little curls. she was begging me for food, and i thought she probably only threw up because she had a cough and must have coughed to hard in the night, [i have NO idea why i thought that, she didn't cough at all during the night. ] i gave her some toast and some watered down juice. she seemed playful and happy. she then went back to sleep and i thought, "whew that was easy."

crazy sick day hair, missy mouse, and breakfast.    
 it has been 60* here in seattle the past few days, and i wanted to take the little lady out to enjoy that sunshine {in case it never returns..} and i thought going to my mom's house would be perfect. so after her nap, she was normal and happy, i threw some clothes on her and headed out the door. half way to my moms house i hear a gagging sound. and i look back just in time to watch my baby throw up everything that she ate earlier. and then we got stuck in traffic - where she then threw up 2 more times. i looked in the backseat and she is covered in yuck. {and here is where my major mom fail comes in...} i just kept driving. i drove the rest of the way to my parents house - and on the way she got sick 2 MORE TIMES. thankfully my dad was home, and helped me carry my sick girl into the house and plop her in the 2 bath of the day - and then while my mom was bathing my beauty, i was helping my dad clean out the car. it was terrible. thankfully my parents had an extra carseat, because ours was not going to be used again yesterday, it had to be hosed down and all the other pieces thrown in the wash. bleh. 

again, maggie seemed happy, ate some crackers and played like normal. i thought it must just be from congestion. until she got sick 2 more times during dinner. as we drove home {puke free! thank you Jesus!!} i started thinking about how she had not taken in very much liquid today, and all that she had taken in {and then some} had exited her body - she had not had a very wet diaper at all, and was not drooling like normal. {this girl is a drool factory. since the day she was born.} i started to get concerned about dehydration. so did nick, so did some of our friends. i called her dr and thankfully got to talk to an actual doctor on the phone {at 7pm - he just randomly was in the office...} and he told me to monitor her at home until 10pm, and try to get at least an ounce of fluid in her every 2 hours. if she seemed dehydrated after 10pm to take her to the hospital as quickly as possible - whatever this virus is has been spreading like wildfire. nick fed her water through a syringe and she wouldnt even eat a popsicle. finally, i took her to bed and rocked her sick little body until she fell asleep. 
 it was a hard night, waking every 2 hours to try to get her to drink at least an ounce of liquid, feeling the inside of her mouth to make sure it was still wet, all why fearing that we might have to make a trip to the ER. we asked for prayers and in an hour about an hour at least 25 people said they were praying for her. {thank you!!} she slept all night, drinking some fluids, and woke up with a pretty wet diaper at 8:30, with no throw up! so today we are taking it easy, with lots of pedialyte, a few bites of toast, and a nap. facing your fears is exhausting work, especially when you are thrown into it because your child is the one that needs you to face them. i hope that the next time puke decides to come visit, i'll be less of a freak and more compasionate - ready and willing to hold my baby girl close even if she is like a ticking time bomb, because that's what i want when i am sick too. 

also, here is to hoping this nasty little bug just passes by nick and i - we leave for disneyland in FOUR DAYS!!



  1. It's funny because my two greatest fears ever in the world are throw up... and earthquakes. We are more alike than I thought. And I don't think this was a "mom fail," it was just new to you and you handled it the best way you could. You don't always have to have the perfect answer for everything, and that's why we have wise friends and Jesus.

    1. ha ha! we totally are! i'll miss seeing you tonight!!


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