so this is christmas...

i feel like i am so far behind. we just set up our tree on saturday. we have no stockings hung by our fire.only a few gifts have been bought. my home doesnt even smell like christmas.

i am so glad

that christmas means 

more than all that.

 this year i see christmas in a whole new light. as i hold my tiny baby close to my body and rock her to sleep, i think about how mary did this very thing. when i sing to my hungry baby while i franticly try to get myself ready to feed her, i think about how probably struggled with feeding her tiny baby too. the only difference is that when she sang her tiny one songs, she was singing them to the LORD. the mighty God. the one who would one day save her. i can not imagine. 

last year, i felt like elizabeth. dreaming, waiting, and praying for a baby. this year, i feel more like mary... holding my babe, wrapped in a swaddle and telling her all about the child who grew up to be a man, who died to save her life and holds her in his hand. as i write this, i think about how sweet it is. how sweet the LORD is to allow me to experience this wonderful, beautiful, and terribly hard thing called motherhood. how blessed i am that my tiny baby is still a newborn this christmas. that i can have a glimpse of what mary had... and appreciate in a whole new light that the LORD was every bit a human. he was as tiny as maggie, but more mighty than anything else in the world. that he came, to die for me. that we are celebrating the day that mary's son came to die a brutal death to save his mama, his daddy, and you, me, and maggie too. its amazing.

it doesn't matter if i ever get those stockings hung up, because what matters is that i celebrate the birth of my savior by worshiping him for coming as a tiny baby and dying as a humble man... all for me.

xoxo-

a